Scenes from an obscure railway. Complete Closure - 10 June

[JCON]

How many trains can you run on this layout by yourself at once OB without a big smash up?

[dogfish7 (R.I.P.)]

Sorry for your loss OB. I lost mine 6 years ago and feel the same way. It's all making more sense now. Thanks. Didn't know that about the Bagpipes either. Tricky lot, those Irish.

[JCON]

Both of you are doing very well for having lost your better half! I'm not so sure I would be doing that well if I lost Red, she is my life!

[WardWorks]

Hi Folks 😃

Oz - If the Irish gave Whisky away as some kind of a joke, what did they keep - poteen (pronounced potcheen) ? Its certainly more potent but also highly illegal. The Irish cops are always busting garage poteen distilleries🤫🤪

Joe - Only one (safely) on this bit... Crashes are not required, ta very much, the cost of replacement wagons ain't cheap ($50 plus new) and PAX coaches start at around $90 if yer lucky and they're on sale. 😲 Prices have always been that way on British stuff out here. With that in mind, I wired it that way very deliberately... I may wire the next bit (across the end of the room) for twin controller operation, that way a departing train leaves on a second controller set to just take trains away at a slow but reasonable speed, whilst I bring the next one in under manual control. I'm still thinking about that one. It'll be the usual "Little Duwing", "Great Snoring" or "Far Tingabout" type of layout, but with a far more original name than any of those ! 


Lots of the smaller, secondary branch lines in Scotland saw less than 5 trains per day, giving lots of scope for gently shunting goods wagons about, which is where I get my main "kick" out of operating trains.

Regards
OB of making progress again, slow and steadily 😉

[JCON]

Sounds good OB!!!

[WardWorks]

Err....

Following several phone calls this afternoon, it would appear that the Administrator of the Derwent Estate was threatening the Baroness Wobbleigh and her hubby Sir Vere with what basically amounted to blackmail and extortion and had entirely overstepped the mark regarding my enquiries. I'm awaiting a further phone call from the Derwent Police, but its looking like I may yet be available to return to that neck of the woods and the wayward metals of Network Derwent which I know so well, having modelled quite a few of its stations and stretches of line with my Exhibition layouts over the years. In addition, the Baroness and her hubby have no problems with my publishing whatever I will of their biographical details (after they've seen, read and approved of what I propose to publish. The same goes for Lord Derwent's eldest son (who did not inherit the title). After his father's death, the title of Lord Derwent was abolished by Royal proclamation (and approved with a huge sigh of relief by the Parliament, its said).

His son and I have been friends for ages, last I'd heard, he'd left matters pertaining to the Estate in the hands of the Administrator, who (among other criminally inclined doings), had been siphoning monies off from the estate into his own bank account. He then asked where I fitted into it, as he'd been advised by the Police that I'd also been spoken to in threatening fashion by the Administrator.

I advised him that there had been no suggestion of any money changing hands in my case, but that I had sought access to, and had been allowed access to the Archives, for the purposes of a small biography of his father and his series of somewhat disasterous experimentations upon on the rails of Network Derwent, however, at the last moment before publication, all permissions had been withdrawn and the Official Secrets Act invoked, preventing me from any such publication in my lifetime and also from working any further on a model of the station as it is now.

His reply was "Bollocks" and then "Forget all of that Official Secrets Act codswallop, he had no right to invoke any such thing. You have my express permission to publish what you will of my Father's life and railway misadventures, including the one involving the missing Euphoniums if you so choose and although British Rail might have some security concerns regarding the existing trackplan, why don't you use the trackplan as it was during the 80's when you first modelled it ? I also give you all permissions verbally now to model any part of the Network as long as the Baroness Wobbleigh, (with whom I've just had a nice catch-up chat), gives her permission as well. He finished by saying "When we next meet I will give you written permission to do what I've just given you my verbal permission to do and that's a promise. I do hate seeing one of my good friends treated in such Cavalier fashion by somebody in a position of trust such as he"

We finished our phone call with a promise to get together and drink ourselves silly sampling the reds in his Father's cellar, (as we oft used to do in the old days), he rang off and I rang the Baroness...

Needless to say, The Baroness had no objection whatever to my modelling of any section of Network Derwent whenever I felt like so doing. In addition, she and Sir Vere would be very happy to see and catch up with myself over "dinner and a chat" as soon as could be arranged, remarking that the three of us had known each other for over 30 years and at times, it seemed like that span of time between actually seeing each other, "so fast is the pace of life these days"... That's two nice catch-ups with friends I've got booked and am looking forward to in the next couple of weeks !

So this layout will now be Derwent Haven, from whence scenic tours of the lake can be embarked upon on any one of several tourist boats (none of which suffered any experimentation on their power units by Lord Derwent (or anybody else !) 

Regards from a rather relieved (and berluddy glad its over !) 
OB 😉

PS - that's the last change re the layout story - ever ! Promise 🤞🙏

PPS - The people referred to by myself as Lord Derwent, his son, Baroness Wobbly and Sir Vere (actually her hubby) are all real people, great friends of mine for at least 30 years and all have seen what I've written about their aliases well before I've ever published anything regarding their aliases. Some of what I've written in regard to Lord Derwent's son, The Baroness and Sir Vere was suggested by themselves, based on real incidents in their own, very real, lives. In most cases, only the needle has been changed to protect the record. They all love my style of writing and "subtly humorous way of relating things". 

[dogfish7 (R.I.P.)]

Do they all come in 1:84 scale?

[JCON]

Isn't Lord Derwent also involved in a famous Pencil Company from Cumberland?

[WardWorks]

Hi Folks 👍

Oz - 1/84 is a scale unknown to me. 1/87 equates to HO or 3.5mm/ft and 1/76 is OO or 4mm/ft (the scale my railway modelling has always been in) the figures for both scales are all useable in both without really being noticeable (humans come in all shapes and sizes after all), I've never thought to include figures representing any of the characters mentioned in the narratives, dunno why... In any case, I'm sure if I looked, I'd readily find figures suitable for the job, but again, I'm not going to be looking, on the grounds that it might be taking things a bit too far. 😖

Joe - If you mean the Lakeland or Derwent brands of colour pencils, watercolour sets etc; I thought they were manufactured in Cumbria, that's where the Lake District is, 🤔 The Derwent Range and some of the Lakeland range still come in tins with a view over Derwentwater on their lids. 😃

Regards
OB of not doing anything layout wise today, rewheeling and putting new couplings on some freight vehicles instead 😉

[dogfish7 (R.I.P.)]

Yes. .03 is a bit too far.

[JCON]

Cumberland Pencil Company
Derwent House
Lillyhall Business Park
Workington
Cumbria
CA14 4HS
United Kingdom


As you can see the name is very confusing, ha, ha!!!

[WardWorks]

Try these, its an old Lakeland Pencil tin

The line in white on the red at the bottom reads "Keswick on Derwentwater" These days Keswick reaches the edge of the lake shore, with a marina and various tourist and private ferries docking there... The pencils used to be manufactured in Keswick, which still produces some of the best pencil leads in the world



Later Lakeland tins had more or less the same view, but it was more like a photo, not unlike the one you've added below your sig (you blighter !) 👍😃

Regards OB 😉

[WardWorks]

Hi Folks

Here we go with all permissions necessary granted and green lights all the way 👍😃

Biography and Railway Antics of Lord Derwent - part 1 - Years of Detonation

The first Lord Derwent was an enthusiastic railway buff and inventor of the late 1800’s, who’s main claim to fame was for a series of experiments related to making Scones and Puddings rise rapidly. It was whilst he was demonstrating a new high pressure pudding mix to Queen Victoria that a pudding exploded, causing much regal anger at the vilely flatulent sound. “We are not amused my Lord Derwent” came the Monarch’s predictable statement, “Could you please stop that at once ?” to which our hero replied “Certainly your majesty – did you see where it went ?”

It was the above and another incident involving a sail powered locomotive putting its bowsprit through the Royal Coach, which completely scuttled Lord Derwent’s Parliamentary Appeal for a railway bridge across Lake Windermere and bought a bill of 11 pounds 3 shillings and sixpence for stain removal in the Royal Compartments

Upon his Death in 1914, his eldest son inherited the title, but was, alas, killed in Flanders fields shortly thereafter and it was thus his son (the original Lord Derwent’s grandson), Wilberforce Aloysius, who assumed the title of Lord Derwent III.

The late Lord Derwent III typified the Country Squire and was a railway buff from the start, who, after seeing his first steam locomotive, determined that his future would lie at the forefront of steam locomotive design and construction. Thus began a series of experiments which totally amazed, utterly terrified and completely deafened his critics (and all other persons involved).

Believing that internal combustion (1920’s style), to be highly inefficient, he ordered that rather large quantities of certain liquified explosives were to be added to locomotive coal, which, when dry could be used in locomotive fireboxes, thus raising temperature and efficiency by utilising the effects of explosive combustion. Unfortunately, such experimentation tended to end with a large detonation, wholesale destruction of property and copious quantities of debris… It also rather quickly led to him being affectionately nicknamed “Old Banger”

The thunderous culminations of “Old Banger’s” experimentation are still stuff of legend today in and around Derwent Water, where even today, one can still gaze in wonder at the cab of a 2-10-0 locomotive (embedded boiler first, the cab front is flush on the quarry wall), some 30 feet off the ground in the wall of a local Granite Quarry – the remains of one of “Old Banger’s” more memorably spectacular, but horribly unsuccessful,experiments.

Another well remembered experiment was the attempt to turbo charge a class 4 (40,000 horsepower) Diesel locomotive. Lord Derwent had seen the massive increase in speed when a road vehicle was so treated using Nitro injection, but had failed to research the type of “Nitro” injected into the engine, mainly because, as he said at the time, ”I thought I knew what it could only be”. The resulting devastation when the lomomotive driver hit the boost button, thus injecting pressurised Nitro Glycerine into the engine is still very much the stuff of legend around the area of the blast zone today.

Another of Lord Derwent’s many locomotive experiments was largely suppressed by British Railways at the time and can only now be officially summarised as having to do with drivers eating a special meal of vast quantities of hot curry before boarding their locomotive, the seats of which were shaped like an upward standing funnel (said seats were supposedly made from the bells of brass Euphoniums, which may explain why the Network Derwent Brass Band does not include Euphoniums amongst its instrumentation), which was connected in some fashion to the locomotive’s engine. The drivers being instructed to “let fly” when a boost/injection cycle was needed. The noise when a boosting cycle was happening was reputedly reported as “highly hilarious” but alas, the detonation (when the locomotive itself backfired upon the start of a boost cycle at 70mph) was huge (as was the subsequent fire) and the stench could only be described as “utterly appalling” in contemporary newspaper reports on the matter. The driver and secondman somehow survived the carnage and the loco cab being blown off and landing in the middle of the lake, from whence they swam ashore, giggling uncontrollably, (as was reported at the time), and a recent update on their condition from Happy Acres Home for The Bewildered indicates that both are “making rapid progress in leaps and bounds” and that both will be released into the care of their loved ones “as soon as we get the leaps and bounds under control”

Part 2 of this bio (years of Decline) tomorrow 🤔🎵🎶

Regards
OB of Sharing the fruits of my researches 😉

[JCON]

Ah such fun!!!

[Dukemaddog]

This is fantastic history! Man, I love reading this. Please extend my most gracious thanks to the Baroness, her husband and the heir to the Derwent legacy for allowing this story to be told.

[WardWorks]

Cheers Folks !👍

Matters Arising

Oz - Not quite what I meant, its one thing to write this kind of giggly nonsense about bods.  Its quite another thing to paint up a figure that would be recognisable to anybody who knows them and put it somewhere on the layout and point the said figure out as "Lord Derwent/Baroness Wobbleigh etc; was what I was referring to as taking things a bit too far 😲

Joe - It was a great deal of fun working these bios out and putting them into writing about 30-35 years ago, it was still fun modernising and adding bits to them recently 😈

Duke - Will do, not a prob. 😃

Part 2 will be uploaded shortly

Regards to All
OB of standing by to upload part two and to disappear immediately thereafter ! 😉

[WardWorks]

Here Ya Go 😃

Biography and Railway Antics of Lord Derwent - part 2 - Years of Decline and His Final Detonation

Long years of railway experimentation and arguing with Local Authorities took their toll on Lord Derwent, with friends, staff and social acquaintances disassociating themselves. Abandonment by Royalty came swiftly following a rather spectacular incident involving a modified Tea Urn exploding on the Station Platform, covering the Queen Mother and Local Dignatories with a large barrage of Cascara Cream Tarts, immediately followed by a deluge of Green Peppermint Tea… There followed immediately the descent of the remains of the Tea Trolley, which plunged through the roof of the local Town Hall at greater than Mach 2, coming to rest inside, only after ricochetting around the walls of (and utterly destroying) the interior of the Australian Red Cedar lined Royal Reception Room.

A prompt decision re Lord Derwent’s state of mind was needed and just as swiftly arrived at, being aptly summarised by the local Mayor (‘e’s bloody mad ‘e is, an’ we don’t need none of them fancy doctor types to tell us the bleedin’ obvious !”). The Mayor’s opinion was agreed to by all who had bothered to attend the Local Council Meeting in what was left of the Town Hall. It was similarly obvious that a rest home was needed and Lord Derwent’s ancestral home of Inayne Manor was speedily chosen and just as speedily converted. Lord Derwent was quite often to be seen pottering about in the garden, shunting imaginary coaches and wagons about and remarking that his room must have been the games room, because it had such lovely rubber wallpaper.

The end came one cold and misty morning, a steam autoclave (medical equipment steriliser), had been experimentally modified (secretly, by Lord Derwent), in an attempt to get a boiler pressure of 350 psi with long cutoff and 30% regulator… The resulting explosion claimed Lord Derwent, who was atop the autoclave cabinet, adjusting the safety valve (belting it with a hammer), when he was struck by a flying bedpan (conservatively estimated to be travelling at a speed of just over Mach 1, owing to the force of the explosion),and succumbed before anybody could reach him through the flames and the debris flying around the room in shrapnel like fashion.

Tributes arrived from far and wide, the largest being from Vulcan Foundry, who had supplied locomotives to Lord Derwent’s design for over forty years, thus aiding and abetting in some of the most innovatingly bizarre (and terrifyingly explosive), wheeled contrivances ever seen upon the rails of Great Britain. Smaller tributes arrived from the Local Residents’ Associations and management of local Window Glazing, Scrap Iron, and Hole Making Industries, in whose continued business (and expansion of said business), both Lords Derwent (I and III) had been both the driving force and main cause. All the above included in their tributes something to the effect that they’d miss not only a gentleman who’d been a kind and gentle benefactor, but also the cause of things that went bump in the night (and exploded "far bloody louder than that” during the day)

Regards
OB of sharing my researches and still tweaking Baroness Wobbliegh's Bio 😉

[dogfish7 (R.I.P.)]

Missed that one. Thanks for the clarification.

[WardWorks]

NP Bruce, NP and NOT (no offence tooken)

Best
OB 😉

[JCON]

So out he went with a bang!!! What a way to go!!!