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Post by JCON on Feb 4, 2018 0:53:40 GMT -6
Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen,
the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a
woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on
impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I
probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and
I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped
to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
Well, I thought the guy behind her was going to have
a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch
what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to
think of crazy things to say.
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Post by BUCKY on Feb 4, 2018 1:05:00 GMT -6
That's a classic!!
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patrick
GAINING SPEED
Posts: 552
Likes: 1,302
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Post by patrick on Feb 4, 2018 1:53:17 GMT -6
Yes...! I am so going to show this to Jo Ann !
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tojo72
GAINING SPEED
Retired
Posts: 651
Likes: 1,581
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Post by tojo72 on Feb 4, 2018 7:23:21 GMT -6
Now thats funny
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Post by mike on Mar 5, 2018 1:51:10 GMT -6
Kelley and I laughed at this one! We think this is hysterical!!!
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Post by JCON on Mar 5, 2018 9:18:33 GMT -6
It is pretty funny for sure, that's why I shared it... lol!!!
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cliffj (R.I.P.)
GAINING SPEED
R.I.P. CLIFFJ
Honorary Member of OSM
Posts: 599
Likes: 1,381
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Post by cliffj (R.I.P.) on Mar 5, 2018 12:54:51 GMT -6
I like the way he thinks . I may have to give that one a try.
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Post by JCON on Mar 5, 2018 16:13:18 GMT -6
LOL Cliff!!!!
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Gothic
SETTLING IN
AKA Gothic Kustom'z, lost member since 11-12-11
Posts: 468
Likes: 664
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Post by Gothic on Mar 6, 2018 15:18:46 GMT -6
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